


Monster Boy and Mr. Perfect

by Bokuroyaoya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28507563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bokuroyaoya/pseuds/Bokuroyaoya
Summary: Tendou was sick and tired of the bullying and the demons that won't shut up about him being a worthless monster not worthy of living a happy life. Just when he thought about ending it all, a fateful meeting in the kitchen changed his life. Did it really change for the better, though?
Relationships: Tendou Satori & Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 98





	1. Fateful meeting at midnight

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey!
> 
> I was unsure about posting this fanfiction, since I'm not quite fond of my own writing.. however, I wanted to give it a try anyway!  
> I'm totally invested in UshiTen lately, so I had to contribute something for my favorite ship!  
> Hopefully, you'll like it at least a little bit!

Ever since his early childhood, he has always been called a monster. 

For some reason, his mother insisted on him having that strange bowl cut since she thought it looked cute on him. The truth was it made him look like a freak. His quirky personality on top of it didn't really help either. 

At first, he didn't like others calling him a monster or a demon. He would sometimes sit in the boy's locker room crying because nobody seemed to like him. However, at some point, he started to like others being afraid of him. It gave him some strange kind of pleasure to crush them and see their terrified expressions. Things only went worse from then on. Obviously.

When he entered high school, the bullying stopped for the most part. Still, his teammates would also call him a monster. They had not the same lousy intention his teammates from elementary and middle school had, at least that's what he always told himself. However, he couldn't help the stinging pain in his chest every time someone asked, "Are you a monster, or what?", when he was able to block a seemingly unblockable spike. His power to read other people's minds gave him the ugly nickname "Guess Monster". 

Maybe if he told his teammates about his past, they would stop calling him that. However, he didn't really want to talk about it. On the one hand, he really did want to get rid of all the bad memories, so talking about them seemed as if he'd never stop clinging to his terrible past. On the other hand, he didn't want to show his weak point to anybody. If he told them about what had happened to him, they would probably laugh or pity him. Showing them his insecurities and making himself vulnerable to others was undoubtedly out of the question.

Life has been hard on him. Sometimes the only thing he could think about was that ending his life would make everything better. His mother might be devastated, but aside from her, nobody might even miss him if he was gone. It's not as if his teammates hated him or something. However, they weren't that close either. So, they probably didn't care if he was around or not. It didn't make any difference whatsoever. 

His way of thinking changed when Ushijima Wakatoshi sneaked his way into his heart.

It was a snowy December evening when he went into the city to look for a birthday present for his mother when he met his old teammates from middle school again. Before he could hide his body somewhere safe so they wouldn't see him, they already pointed their fingers at him. "Oh, look, it's that monster boy. What was his name again?" one of them shouted with a big grin on his face. "Didn't he also have the name of a demon or something?", another one added, laughing like an idiot. "Ah right, it was Satori or something like that. Disgusting. Even his mother knew he would be a demon, that's why she gave him that name."  
The one with the idiot laugh snorted, "An ugly name for an ugly person, how fitting."  
Tendou wanted to die. He wanted to die so bad at this moment. Why couldn't they just stop? Let the past rest in the past. Anger and sadness filled his body as he passed the bullies and whispered, "You won't be laughing for long anymore since I have put a horrible curse on every single one of you."  
They looked at him with disgust in their faces, and one of the boys even spit in his direction. Gladly he missed even though he was aiming for his face. Tendou had good reflexes, so he could easily avoid getting hit. Some things would never change, he thought, letting out a deep, exhausted sigh.

When he went back to his dorm that night, he lay down in his bed and sobbed. He hadn't been crying for quite some time now. For some reason, he thought his wounds were finally healed, but meeting his old teammates made him realize that he was anything but healed. At this point, he might as well end his life right this instant.

With this thought creeping in his mind for several hours, he decided to get through with it. He had to do it if he wanted the pain to stop. There was no other way out of his misery. That was for sure.  
That's why he sneaked into the kitchen past midnight and searched for the sharpest knife he could find. It only took him a few minutes until he found something that seemed like it would work. Thus, he turned heels and wanted to return to his room since he didn't want to die in a place where he could be found by many people. It might be disturbing to them, especially to the poor cooks who didn't have anything to do with his twisted state of mind. It wouldn't be fair on them to kill himself in their workspace.

However, he didn't come far, because as soon as he wanted to leave the kitchen in a hurry, he bumped into someone. His heart started to race. If someone would see him with a big and sharp knife in his hands, what would they think? That he was about to kill someone? He was, for sure, but nobody should've known about it.

"Tendou?", a familiar voice called out for him.

He looked at the other person in shock. "Ushijima?"

"What are you doing with this knife?" he asked, pointing at the sharp object Tendou still held in his hands like his life depended on it. (It did to a certain extent.)

"I… I just, uh…", he didn't really know what to say. Too many thoughts swirled up in his head. Therefore he couldn't think straight. "What… are you doing here? At this hour?"

"I just wanted a glass of milk since I can't sleep for some reason", Ushijima shrugged and stared at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Usually, Tendou was good at reading people, but with Ushijima, it was different. He never really could tell what he was thinking.

"Do you want to sit with me for a bit?" he was asked after a few moments of silence. Tendou was perplexed. Someone wanted to actually spend time with him? Now of all times? This must have been a joke. 

Anyway, he sighed and then put on a smile. The same smile he'd always put on during practice. "Of course."

Tendou always thought Ushijima wasn't much of a talker. However, this night he seemed to be quite talkative. They talked about a lot of different things. For example, Ushijima wanted to know what he did in his spare time. When he answered he loved to read manga and especially Shonen Jump's weekly magazine, Ushijima acted more interested than someone would have ever given him credit for.  
If you thought about it rationally, it was quite funny. Ushijima Wakatoshi, a man who gave the impression to only enjoy documentaries of nature and animals, actually enjoying manga.

Tendou had to laugh at the thought, and Ushijima stared at him in confusion. "Did I say something funny?" He stopped laughing and wiped a tear off his eyes. "No, nothing, really. I just thought that you're a fun guy, Wakatoshi."

"Wakatoshi?"

"Is it okay if I call you by your first name?" Tendou suddenly felt the insecurity creep up inside him. He didn't know why he suddenly used his first name. It just came kind of naturally to him.  
Ushijima slightly smiled. "I don't mind."

After that, they talked twenty more minutes about Tendou's favorite manga until they decided it would be better to head back to their bedrooms. It was already one o'clock in the morning, and they had morning practice at 7 o'clock. 

"It was nice talking to you, Tendou. Good night." With these words, Ushijima left the kitchen and left Tendou alone. His mind was full of all the things they had talked about, so much that he totally forgot about the knife he had placed right next to him on a chair. At this point, he had even forgotten why he went into the kitchen in the first place. It felt almost like he had planned to meet Ushijima here for a midnight snack and talk.

With a bright smile on his face, he headed back to his bedroom and cuddled himself into his blankets. 

Maybe life wasn't so bad, after all.


	2. Ushijima Mr. Perfect Wakatoshi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter, I hope you'll like it as well!

Ushijima Wakatoshi gave him a reason to live, but he also gave him another reason to want to die.

It was like a curse that would never leave him alone. No matter where he went, his demons would  
always follow him and make sure he won't ever forget them. It was exhausting and tearing at his  
nerves. Still, he tried to pull himself together and repressed all the negative feelings around Ushijima.  
He was so happy about their newly built friendship that it shouldn't be destroyed by his twisted mind  
and weird thoughts. Tendou was too afraid of scaring Ushijima away with his real personality. That's  
why he made sure to only show the best side of him.

Since that fateful night in the kitchen, they would often have lunch together in the cafeteria or go on  
morning jogs when there was no morning practice. Sometimes they would just sit in Ushijima's room  
and read the Shonen Jump magazine's newest issue. It made him happy that Ushijima seemed to also  
enjoy his favorite manga quite a lot.

Since he has started to spend more time with him, the other team members also seemed to talk  
more with him. They would even sit with them at lunch sometimes, and in the dressing room, they  
would speak with him about trivial things that happened in their lives. Which had mostly to do with  
volleyball or school since they didn't do anything special besides.

Tendou didn't think about hating his life as often these days as he used to just a while ago. Having  
friends could really heal a broken heart, he thought. For some reason, it felt like a dream to him. If it  
really was a dream, he would never want to wake up.

Of course, life wasn't that great. He always knew it. He just pretended to have forgotten for some  
time. Still, he knew that it was only temporary happiness after all.

It took only one month until the people started talking about him again. "Did you know that our  
prince Ushijima Wakatoshi hangs out with that weirdo recently? I see them at lunch together almost  
every day."

"What? Why would he spend time with that freak? He kinda scared the shit out of me, to be honest."

"Yeah, I totally get what you mean. He looks like a monster with that weird face and that weird  
expression. Have you ever seen him smile? Scary as fuck."

Tendou sighed, pretending he didn't hear anything. Of course, they would start talking when he  
spent time with Mr. Perfect. Ushijima Wakatoshi wasn't that good with social interaction. To be  
honest, he didn't speak to many people aside from the volleyball team. Still, he was extremely  
popular because he was attractive, athletic, smart, and wealthy. Therefore, it was no wonder that  
girls and boys alike admired him and even had crushed on him.

What Tendou didn't understand was that they would get angry at him for spending time with  
Ushijima. It wasn't like they were dating; he had no intention of falling in love with anybody  
whatsoever. They were just teammates and friends on top of that. What gave them the right to say  
mean things about him just because they spent lunchtime together and sometimes met up to read  
manga or watch anime? That didn't seem fair. Not fair at all.

Even though the comments behind his back immensely annoyed him, he tried to ignore them at first.  
He wanted to have fun with Ushijima and the others, and he wouldn't let his newly gained happiness  
be ruined by some idiots who couldn't shut their mouths.

"I wanted to tell Wakatoshi that I've been in love with him since the first time I've seen him at the  
entrance ceremony, but this scary redhead is always with him. With this weirdo around, I'm too  
afraid to approach them… I wish he would just leave already. Doesn't he know that he only gets on  
Wakatoshi's nerves? I bet he's just spending time with him out of pity. Wakatoshi is too good for this  
world. He's like an angel who's kind enough to sacrifice his precious time to a demon-like Tendou.  
Seeing them together kind of disgusts me."

Tendou rolled his eyes. Did she say it extra loud so that he could hear her, or was she so dumb that  
she didn't recognize him sitting only a few meters next to her? He let out a big sigh and stood up  
from his chair, heading to the men's bathroom.

He couldn't help but wonder if what she says was actually true. Did Ushijima only spend time with  
him because he looked so pitiful? Of course, despite his looks, Ushijima really was a nice guy, but did  
he really go as far as to spend time with someone just because he felt sorry for them in any kind of  
way? Tendou refused to believe it. However, the demons inside his heart told him it might be right  
after all. Those damned demons won't shut the fuck up.

At the lunch break, Tendou took the seat in front of Ushijima and smiled at him. "Hey, Wakatoshi,  
what's up?", he asked casually like always. No matter what, he would never tell him that the others  
talked shit about them behind their backs.

"Yo, Tendou. I've watched the first two episodes of that one anime you recommended to me the  
other day. It was fascinating, but I don't understand why the main character ate that finger. Why  
would someone eat a finger?"

Tendou couldn't help but laugh. "It's anime, dude. In anime, it's pretty normal to eat strange things  
like hair or demon fingers to gain power, you know."

"It is rather strange if I may say so." Ushiwaka stared at Tendou with a doubtful expression on his  
face. It was almost cute how seriously he took everything. Anytime he'd watch an anime or read a  
manga Tendou recommended to him, he would always point out the strangest things and question  
them. Other people might just think, "yeah, it's anime. It makes sense somehow", but Ushijima was  
different. He simply questioned everything that seemed weird to him and that he didn't understand.

"Anyway", Ushijima changed the topic, "You look down, is everything alright?"

Tendou's eyes widened in shock. "What? No, I'm fine! Everything's alright, no need to worry!" He  
was perplexed. Was it really that obvious something bothered him? He made sure to put on a perfect  
mask so that nobody would notice that he actually felt like shit.

"If you say so." Ushijima continued to stare at Tendou. At this point, it somewhat scared him. Why  
won't he stop staring at him? Tendou became nervous. His heartbeat sped up like that time in the  
kitchen where he wanted to borrow the knife and ran into Ushijima by chance. Even his hands  
started to get sweaty. The nervousness creeping up inside his stomach made him almost go  
nauseous.

At all costs, he needed to act cool. He wasn't allowed to lose control over his emotions. Or else  
anything would be ruined. That was for sure.

Another week had passed, and Tendou was really exhausted. Lately, he had horrible nightmares that  
wouldn't go away. Nightmares in which he grew fangs and horns like the demons in fantasy manga  
had them. Everybody would run away from him because they were scared of him. Even his own  
mother would turn her back on him and scream in fear.

Because he had those dreams almost every night, he refused to go to sleep. Of course, at some point,  
he would fall asleep no matter how hard he tried to stay awake. However, the past week he might  
have had only three hours of sleep per day. That's why his body felt sore, and most of the time, he  
was nauseous and dizzy. Volleyball practice was also harder on him than usual. At this point, the  
others must have recognized that something was wrong with him.

At least Ushijima did.

One day at morning practice, Tendou's vision suddenly got blurry and turned blackish just a few  
seconds later. His legs gave in under his weight, and he fell to the floors face down. A ringing in his  
ear made it hard to understand anything, but he could hear voices screaming his name. It must've  
been Semi and Reon who called. He wasn't sure, though.

The next thing he knew was he woke up in the nurse's office. A cold towel was put on his forehead,  
and he was tugged in a blanket like a little child. His vision was still blurry, and his head ached so  
much that he couldn't focus on anything. He wanted to sleep a bit longer—just a few more minutes.  
When he finally opened his eyes again, the room was filled with a reddish-orange light. How long had  
he been asleep? A glance at the clock told him that it was already five o'clock in the afternoon. His body  
must have been really exhausted.

He let his gaze wander around the room, which came to a sudden stop as he saw Ushijima sitting in a  
chair next to him, arms crossed before his chest, the head slightly tilted to the right. His breath  
seemed steady, so Tendou figured he must have fallen asleep as well. How long has he been here  
watching out for him, he wondered?

Tendou just stared at the sleeping Ushijima covered in the orange light, and for some reason, his  
heart began to ache. That girl was right. Ushijima was an angel. He was too kind for the world, also  
for Tendou. Why would a perfect guy like him waste his time with some monster? They had to get  
along inside their volleyball team, but aside from that, there was no reason for Ushijima to be so nice  
to him. It didn't make sense.

It almost made so much sense as somebody who would swallow a finger to gain strength. None at all.  
Half an hour later, Ushijima finally woke up and rubbed his eyes. He looked at Tendou and  
immediately started to smile. "You're awake. How do you feel?"

"I'm fine, thank you. You wouldn't have had to sit here the whole time, you know. I think you have  
better things to do than to look out for me."

"No, I was worried about you. I wanted to be there when you wake up."

Tendou made an ugly grimace. His eyes started to burn, and he was sure he would start crying any  
moment if this continued any longer.

"You really are Mr. Perfect, huh."

"What do you mean, Tendou?"

"Ah, it's nothing. I just thought that you're such a nice guy. Even to someone like me, you're…"

Ushijima looked confused for a moment. "What do you mean to someone like you? You're my best  
friend, of course, I would worry about you. You really gave me a shock when you broke down at  
practice today. I noticed that you didn't feel quite up to it recently, but since you seemed like you  
didn't want to talk about it, I also didn't want to force you or anything."

Tendou's smile faded, and he sighed. He could no longer hide the exhaustion he felt. "I'm sorry for  
saying weird things, Wakatoshi. I'm delighted you're here right now. But I'm really fine. I just stayed  
up reading manga the past week and didn't get enough sleep. I know it's stupid losing sleep over  
such a trivial matter even though I need to give a hundred percent and more at practice. I promise  
you, I will go to bed early from now on."

Ushijima stared at him with that unreadable expression again. It made him nervous once again.  
"I'll let it slip this one time", Ushijima finally broke the unbearable tension between them. "Can you  
walk, or should I carry you to your room?"

Tendou flushed. "Carry me?!"

"Yeah", Ushijima shrugged, "I carried you here after you broke down. And since you're as light as a  
feather, I could also carry you to your room."

"You did what?!", Tendou's voice was louder than he intended it to be. He was just shocked at the  
thought of being carried by Ushijima Wakatoshi himself. What if someone saw them? Hell would  
break out tomorrow when he went back to school, that was for sure.

"You know what, nevermind. I can walk myself. I feel a whole lot better now, and after lying down for  
so long, I need to get the legs working again", he laughed awkwardly and stood up from the infirmary  
bed.

Tendou thanked Ushijima again for helping and looking after him. Then he went off to his room,  
leaving behind a confused Ushijima.

Tendou had a big smile on his face. Maybe life wasn't so bad, after all. The Ushijima Wakatoshi called  
him "best friend".


	3. The pain of being a monster princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit longer than the first two chapters, I hope that's okay and you still can enjoy it!
> 
> Just to warn you in advance, there's a little more violence in this chapter, but I tried to keep it as low as possible, hopefully, that's fine!
> 
> There will be one more chapter after this, so stay tuned! :3

The next day at school was hell for Tendou.

The moment he entered the classroom, his classmates stared at him. Most of them had angry  
expressions. Others looked at him with disgust. He should've been used to it by now, but it stung so  
hard. The bullying had stopped in high school, or so he had hoped until now.

"What's your fucking problem, monster princess? Did you put a special spell on Ushijima so he would  
fall for you? That's disgusting. You are disgusting."

"How dare you deceive Ushijima Wakatoshi of all people, you fucking monster?"

Tendou wanted to say something in defense, but he didn't get the chance as one of the stronger boys  
kicked him and pushed him to the ground with one foot. Before he could even blink, the boy spat on  
his face and kicked his stomach several times. "Scum like you should know their place. We've been  
nice on you since you're part of the volleyball team, and everybody fears Washijou, but you just had  
to step over the line, monster boy."

"Leave me the fuck alone", Tendou groaned and tried to push the boy away from him, without  
success. Two other boys grabbed his arms and pulled them behind his back. It hurt like hell. A painful  
hiss escaped his throat. Why can't he even defend himself in a situation like this? Why did it come to  
this in the first place? They never paid him much attention before he befriended Ushijima. Was he  
really not worth being his friend? Who dared to decide that?

The boys who pulled on his arms dragged him on his feet and forced him to come with them to the  
men's bathroom. Maybe they were scared a teacher might intrude on them. The men's bathroom  
was perfect for some privacy, after all.

As soon as they got there, he had been kicked on the floor once again. The strongest of the three sat  
on Tendou's lap and pulled him by the collar. Once again, he spat on his face and grinned like the  
devil himself. It made Tendou wonder who the real monster was here. "Let this be your final  
warning, monster princess. Get away from Ushijima Wakatoshi, or you'd wish you were dead."

"We're in the same volleyball team. I can't…"

"Did I fucking stutter, or are you stupid?"

"Maybe he doesn't understand human language since he's a fucking demon."

Laughter. Then a punch in the face. He could feel warm liquid leaving his nose, dripping on the floor,  
and leaving a small red puddle. "I hate to repeat myself. Stay the fuck away from Ushijima."

Tendou hissed but didn't say anything. He knew there was nothing he could do in this situation. He  
had to endure and listen to what he said. If he remembered correctly, the one sitting on his lap was  
some kind of pro in martial arts. He could probably kill him right on the spot if he wanted to. Thus, he  
shouldn't mess with him too much.

With that, the boy pushed him down once again and stood up. All three of them kicked him one last  
time in the stomach before they left the bathroom, laughing diabolically.

Tendou crouched on the floor, blood and tears mixing on his face before dripping on the floor. He  
was cold, and his whole body hurt like hell. Even if he wanted, he could probably not stand up right  
now. He just wanted to lay here and die. He wanted to die so bad. When was the last time he  
thought of dying so strongly like right now? The night he befriended Ushijima…

Maybe it was his fault for thinking he could have friends like an average person. Perhaps it was his  
fault for thinking he could be like an average person at all. If you've been a monster once, you'd be a  
monster forever. No matter how hard he tried to change that fact.

Quite some time must have passed while he was lying on the floor. He lost track of time since he was  
too consumed with the demons whispering inside of him. Regrets, so many regrets. If only he had  
ended this misery that night. If only he hadn't befriended Ushijima. If only… he had never been born.

The spiraling thoughts were interrupted by a sudden clacking sound of the door. Tendou didn't even  
care anymore. He didn't care if they came back to punch and kick him even more, or if someone  
came to actually use the toilet and ignored him laying there since it wasn't their business after all.

"Tendou?!", a shocked voice shouted at the sight of the miserable figure on the floor.  
"What the fuck, Tendou, is this blood?! What happened?!"

He was grabbed by the shoulders and pulled up only to find himself in Semi's arms. "Semi…", he  
whispered quietly. There wasn't any strength in his voice anymore. "Everything's fine, just leave me  
alone", he mumbled and forces himself to a smile.

"Are you kidding me? What about you is fine? You're bleeding, oh my god, Tendou, you are fucking  
bleeding, how is this in any way okay?" Semi looked concerned while taking a small towel out of his  
pocket to stop the blood running down from his nose. "Who did this to you?"

Tendou wasn't strong enough to push Semi away. It kind of felt good to be cared for, even if he  
wished it was Ushijima who sat beside him. In his mind, he apologized to Semi for that thought. "It's  
really nothing. I started a fight with some dude in my class and underestimated how strong he was.  
That's all. It's my own fault."

Semi stared at him in disbelieve and sighed. "You're an idiot, I hope you know that."

Tendou forcibly laughed. "I know, I know."

"I'll take you to the infirmary. The nurse should look over your nose if everything's alright, and then  
you should head back to your room and rest for the day. Looking like this, you can't go back to class  
or even attend training. I'll tell Washijou that you're not feeling well."

Tendou nodded. "Thanks, Semi. Why are you so nice to me, though?"

Semi grumbled. If Tendou wasn't injured already, he might have kicked him, at least that's what  
Tendou thought at that moment. "You really are an idiot", he sighed. "We're friends, why wouldn't I  
be nice to you? On top of that, I am a nice person, so I need no reason to help someone who needs  
help. So, stop asking weird questions and come with me."

With that, Semi supported Tendou and went with him to the infirmary.

Tendou didn't come to class and practice for one whole week. Ushijima went to his room a few times  
and knocked on the door, but Tendou wouldn't answer. Thus, on the fourth day, he slipped a letter  
under the door before he left again.

Tendou wasn't in the mood to read that letter. However, he thought since Ushijima made an effort  
writing it for him, he somehow owed him reading it whatsoever. Hence, he crawled out of his bed  
and grabbed the letter.

"Semi told me you're sick. Hope you feel better soon. Miss you at practice.  
Wakatoshi."

He started smiling. That was so typical for Ushijima, always honest and sincere.

The thought of his classmates made his smile vanish once again. Instead, his eyes started to burn as  
they filled with tears. "If only you wouldn't be so nice to me, Wakatoshi…", he mumbled and  
crumbles the letter before he throws it in the trash.

If only Ushijima wasn't so nice to him, he could easily forget about him if only he was as rude as his  
bullies. He could live on like he'd always had, or he could end his life like he wanted to before. Now it  
wasn't just his mother that would be sad. Ushijima and Semi would probably be unhappy as well. Or  
would they? Tendou wasn't so sure. It might have been just wishful thinking.

"Monday", he mumbled, "I will go back to practice on Monday."

When he finally came back to volleyball practice, he acted like nothing had happened at all. Semi gave  
him a strange look since he was the only one who knew that Tendou wasn't actually sick but beaten  
up. Even though he didn't know the actual reason.

Ushijima smiled as soon as he saw Tendou and approached him with a cheerful "Good morning, are  
you better?" He could only nod in response and then picked up a ball from the ground to throw it  
over the net. Ushijima seemed confused by his attitude, but he didn't care about that. His classmates  
made it clear that he should stay away from Ushijima, and that's what he would do from now on. Only  
at practice would he interact with him because he can't let his personal problems interfere with their  
volleyball. Aside from that, though, he would only talk as much as necessary with him. Maybe his  
classmates would stop talking about him if he does.

In class, the others stared at him, whispering and laughing, as he entered the room and sat on his  
chair in silence. If he ignored them, they would ignore him as well, probably.

"Aw, the monster princess is scared of us, it seems", laughed the boy who punched him up the other  
day. Tendou just rolled his eyes and didn't say anything. Just keep silent and do as they say, he told  
himself in his mind.

At lunch, he bought a curry bread and ate it in his room. Usually, he would sit with Ushijima and the  
others now, talking about the latest Shonen Jump issue or the newest single of that one rock band   
Semi loved so much. They would make jokes and laugh. Ushijima would point out trivial things that  
made no sense, at least not in his world, and everyone would try to explain it to him without success.  
Tendou giggled at the thought. It made him sad. He missed Ushijima's voice.

At afternoon practice, Ushijima approached him again, this time with a worried expression ruining his  
pretty face. "Hey, Tendou. Are you really feeling alright? You didn't join us at lunch today. I wanted to  
go get you, but Semi said you might want to be alone for some reason. Did I do something wrong?"

It broke Tendou's heart seeing Ushijima like this. Oh, how much he wanted to tell him the truth  
about everything. Oh, how much he wanted to say to him that he did nothing wrong and that he  
missed him so much, he could barely stand it. However, he was not able to for his own good and for  
Ushijima's good. It was best to keep silent and to end this as soon as possible.

"Sorry, Ushijima, it's just that talking to you guys is kinda boring. I used the break to watch some  
anime, and yeah, that's about it. Sorry, I didn't say anything."

"Talking to me, is boring? Since when?" Ushijima seemed perplexed.

"Since the beginning, actually. You were so nice, though. I felt rude for telling you something like  
that. Anyway, I figured I should tell you the truth better sooner than later. So yeah, I won't eat with  
you guys ever again, sorry." With that, he left a confused Ushijima behind. He bit his lip in anger and  
punched himself in his mind. Why did he say something unnecessary like that? His one and only best  
friend didn't deserve such rude words. Yet that was the only thing he could think of to end this  
friendship before everything would get worse.

Semi observed the whole situation and narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

Three weeks passed like that. They had no proper conversation outside of the volleyball court and  
still acted like nothing happened at all. Nonetheless, Ushijima seemed irritated more often than not  
and therefore screw up quite a few times at practice. Washijou was furious, of course, and made him  
run extra laps and stay for overtime practice. Tendou felt really bad for him. It was kind of his fault,  
after all. He also screwed up at practice more often than before. Still, since Washijou had more  
hopes in Ushijima, the national star player, he was even more strict with him. Tendou was also  
scolded but never had to stay for extra work.

It was one of those days Ushijima had to stay longer. Thus he wasn't in the changing room with them  
when Semi sat next to Tendou, clearing his throat and staring at him with a fearful intension burning  
in his eyes.

"What's up, Semi?", Tendou asked nervously. Sweat dripping down from his forehead.

"Are you fucking with me here, Tendou?" Semi seemed angry. He hadn't seen him this angry, like  
ever. "What's your fucking problem? You told Ushijima you won't eat with us anymore because we  
are boring? Do you know how devastated this guy has been after you started to ignore him like the  
piece of shit you apparently are?"

"He was?", Tendou was shocked.

"Don't give me that bullshit, god damn it. I thought we were friends, I thought you were a good guy, I  
really did. Seems like I was wrong."

"Semi… I…"

"Listen, idiot. I've heard rumors about your past. How you got bullied for 'looking like a freak' or  
some kind of 'monster' or whatever. But let me tell you this, and I will only tell you once: Neither he  
nor I have ever thought of you as a freak or monster. We liked you because you were friendly to us  
and fun to hang around with. I don't know what really happened that day you got beat up, but if it  
has something to do with this bullshit, you'd better tell us."

Tendou's face turned red in anger, and he pushed Semi away from him. Stronger than he intended.  
Semi fell on the floor and cursed with a hissing voice. "What the hell?!"

"You don't know anything about me! Don't pretend like you understand the pain I am in. And  
please… please don't tell me we were friends, because we weren't. If you knew about my past all  
along, you must've felt pity for me, am I right? You know what, fuck that pity, I don't need it. When I  
met Ushijima that day in the kitchen, I wanted to kill myself, and you know what? I regret that I  
didn't just do it. Everything would be so much easier if I wasn't alive anymore. So please, don't tell  
me anything, you fucking moron!"

With that, he ran out of the gym and went straight back to his room. As soon as he had closed the  
door, he leaned against it and let his body slowly slide down until he sat there, his arms grabbing his  
knees. The sobbing coming out of his throat was so loud that his neighbors might have heard it, but  
he didn't care. He really didn't care one single bit.

"Why am I such an idiot?" he sobbed.

Why was life so cruel and painful? What did he do wrong to deserve this? He wondered if it was bad  
karma he had still left from a previous life or something. Either way, it wasn't fair. Why did he have to  
suffer from the wrong actions of someone he didn't even know?

A knock startled him out of his miserable sobbing. It might have been just Semi who wanted to  
continue their discussion from before, but he wasn't feeling up to it right now. Thus, he ignored it.

Silence.

Then another knock. This time more forceful than the first.

Silence again.

"Tendou", it was Ushijima's voice. "I know you're in there. Please let me in."

"Leve me alone", Tendou mumbled. It was too silent, so Ushijima might not have heard it, though.

"Tendou, I heard what you said to Semi. About that night. I need to talk to you."

Silence.

"If you don't want it to get embarrassing for the both of us, you better open the door."

What did he mean by embarrassing? Was he about to shout through the hallway that Tendou  
wanted to kill himself? About that, he didn't care anymore. If he was dead, it wouldn't matter if  
people knew about his failed attempt whatsoever.

Still, he felt the urge to open the door for some reason. Ushijima's voice sounded so desperate he  
needed to let him in. He needed to see his face.

Thus, he stood up and slowly unlocked the door. Only a few seconds later, the door opened, and  
Ushijima grabbed him forcefully to pull him into a hug. Tendou's face flushed. He expected a punch in  
his face or something, but most certainly not a hug. 

"Tendou… is it true? You wanted to kill yourself that night? That's what the knife was for?"  
He couldn't respond. At that moment, he hoped that his silence would be answer enough. To his  
relief, it was.  
"I see. I'm glad you didn't do it. I'm glad I was there to keep you from doing it, even though I was not  
aware that time."

Tendou's heartbeat got faster and faster as he felt Ushijima's strong arms around him. He felt  
protected as if nothing could ever hurt him again if he just stayed in his arms forever.

Not losing the grip, they awkwardly walked to the bed and sat there before they continued speaking.

"I'm really sorry, Wakatoshi… I didn't mean to say rude things to you. The truth is that talking to you  
is actually fun and not boring at all. You can't imagine how happy it made me when you called me  
'best friend'." He sobbed. "But you see… I'm a monster, and you are… Mr. Perfect, a prince. I  
shouldn't be seen with you. You shouldn't spend time with me."

"Mr. Perfect? Nobody is hundred percent perfect, I believe."

"That's… that's not even the point, Wakatoshi… The point is…"

"I understand", Ushijima pulled him in a hug once again. "I am sorry that I didn't notice. Semi told me  
you were beaten up a few weeks ago. When you said you were sick, you were actually beaten up by  
a classmate, right? Was it because of me?"

"What? No, it…"

"Please tell me the truth, no more lying."

"Okay… it's true… They told me I should stay away from you because I wouldn't deserve someone  
like you. I'm just a monster, and you are… Ushijima Wakatoshi."

Ushijima sighed. "Listen, I don't know who told you that, but you are not a monster. You are the  
kindest person I know, and talking to you feels so easy. You know that I am not really social and  
talkative but talking to you is always fun. And I love listening to your passionate stories about your  
favorite shows. I love to see you laughing when I say something weird."

Tendou smiled slightly. His eyes were still red and swollen from crying so much. "I never imagined  
hearing the word 'love' out of your mouth so often, if I'm being honest."

"I love you, Tendou."

Silence. Shock. What was that?

"Haha, what…"

"I love you. That's why I don't want you to avoid me anymore. I want to spend more time with you  
again. I want to protect you from your classmates, I want to hold your hand, I want to ki-"

"Okay, okay, okay! Stop it, stop it! Do you even realize what you're talking about? That's so  
embarrassing, Wakatoshi!" Tendou pushed Ushijima away from him and covered his flushed face  
with his hands.

"I told you it would get embarrassing for the both of us if you didn't let me inside your room."

"We are inside my room, and it is still embarrassing for me, though!"

"Do you love me as well, Satori?"

"Sa... Satori?!", Tendou was about to lose it entirely with this guy. Why was he looking so serious, as  
if it wasn't embarrassing at all? What was wrong with this guy? "Well… I… I guess I do?"

"Can I kiss you, then?", Ushijima asked with a smile but didn't even ask for an answer as he pulled  
Tendou's face closer and pressed his lips on Tendou's.

Ushijima decided to spend the night. They talked a lot about Tendou's past and insecurities as they  
lay cuddled together in the small dorm bed.

Ushijima promised to protect Tendou from now on. If anyone ever laid one finger on him again or  
said anything mean to him, he would beat the bullies up until they wish they had never even looked  
at Tendou in the first place. He laughed at the imagination of Ushijima protecting him like that. He  
wasn't really sure if he really deserved this. However, he wanted to believe one more time. Only one  
more time would he give in in this momentary bliss.

"You're beautiful, Satori", Ushijima whispered in his ear as he stroked his hair. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

This night Tendou had that nightmare again. The mirror image showed him with demon horns and  
fangs, feathers grew on his skin, and he looked terrifying and ugly. Everybody ran away at the sight of  
him, screaming in fear. Even his mother cried "a monster" when she saw her son like this. Sad and  
lonely, he wandered through the woods when suddenly a prince with a golden crown and a purple  
cape appeared in front of him.

With wide eyes, the prince looked at him. "Wow… you're beautiful", said the prince and held out his  
arm for Tendou to come closer. "Beautiful… me?" The prince nodded. "The most beautiful creature  
I've ever seen."

The next day Tendou woke up with a smile. Ushijima was already awake, staring at him while he held  
him tight in his arms. "Good morning, Wakatoshi", Tendou mumbled and cuddled Ushijima. "Good  
morning, Satori."

From this day on, the bullying stopped completely. Ushijima made it clear that if anybody does  
something weird or rude to Tendou, it would have consequences. Embarrassingly enough for  
Tendou, he even told everybody that they were now boyfriends.

Semi couldn't help but laugh like an idiot when he heard the story. However, he wasn't angry with  
Tendou anymore and forgave him for everything that had happened.

Maybe that was it, the life he always dreamed of. Having friends, even a boyfriend, he could have fun  
with every day. Nobody would call him names or look at him like he was a disgusting monster.

Maybe that's when his life would really begin. Now he could finally be happy, together with Ushijima.


	4. Love me like I'm sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo here's finally the last chapter of my little Ushiten ff!
> 
> In this chapter Tendou sings a song called "Love me like I'm sick" by His Dreams of Lions!  
> This song actually gave me the idea for this whole fanfiction.  
> The singer's voice sounds a little bit like Tendou, so it fits even better!  
> Here's a link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSotOYFXv2Y
> 
> Thank you very much for reading up until now!  
> Hopefully you had fun reading it :3

Two years later, Ushijima and Tendou were still together and happy.

Sometimes they had arguments and fought, but soon it was all forgotten again. Most of the  
discussions were about Tendou's insecurities. Even though the bullying had stopped, and he was happy  
with his life for once, he couldn't get completely rid of the demons hiding in his mind and heart.  
Sometimes he felt like he still wasn't worthy of being Ushijima's boyfriend.  
But he never thought about wanting to die even once since they're together. Still, Ushijima was  
scared whenever he acted sort of weird. No matter how often Tendou would try to convince him that  
he never thinks about ending his life, Ushijima was still anxious.

After their final volleyball match as third years in Shiratorizawa, the team decided to go to Karaoke  
together. They had nothing to celebrate since they lost against Karasuno. However, they wanted to  
bid the third years farewell appropriately, so Karaoke it was.

It was no typical Karaoke bar with separate rooms. It was an open space with a bar and a DJ who  
would play the songs you picked from the computer in front of him. Since they had many members  
on the volleyball team, they decided to rent the whole bar. Shiratorizawa was a wealthy school. After  
all, they could afford something like this once in a while.

Tendou and Ushijima sat next to each other on a couch while watching the others sing and dance. He  
rested his head on Ushijima's shoulder and sipped on the bottle of Cola he was holding in his hands.  
His hand was gently stroked by the beat of the music that was playing. He smiled.

"Remember the night we met in the kitchen?", Tendou suddenly asked and broke the silence  
between them. Ushijima made a weird grimace as he answered, "Yes. I'm glad I couldn't sleep that  
night and went to the kitchen for a glass of milk." He laughed, "Yeah, I am glad as well, Toshi."

"You know, I never would've imagined that you would ever fall in love with me when I talked to you  
that night." He giggled and took another sip of his Cola. "Fate is weird, isn't it?"

"I don't know if I really believe in fate, but if it was fate, I met you that night, I am grateful for it."

"You're so cheesy sometimes, it hurts."

"Cheesy? What does cheese have to do with it?", Ushijima asked in confusion.

Tendou spit out his drink in laughter. "I love you so much, Wakatoshi."

Now Ushijima was even more confused. "I love you, too, but… I still don't get the thing with the  
cheese."

"I'm just delighted I got to meet you. I've spent wonderful years together with you. Wouldn't want to  
miss them."

Ushijima turned his head and looked Tendou in the eyes. "What's wrong with you? You aren't  
thinking about suicide again, are you?" His voice was filled with concern and worry.  
Tendou rolled his eyes and sighed. "You still don't get it? I told you, I was over it. Why won't you…  
wait… I have an idea."

With that, he left Ushijima behind and went to the DJ. He whispered something in his ear and turned  
his head to smile at his boyfriend, winking.

After the song, sung by Shirabu, has ended, Tendou hopped on the stage and tapped the microphone  
until it made a shrill, squeaking sound. He cleared his throat and said, "This song is for someone  
special, who's really dear to me. Maybe you will understand when I sing for you."

Semi had a wide grin on his face when he sat next to Ushijima and observed his reaction. They had  
never heard Tendou sing aside from his creepy song at volleyball matches.

As soon as the sound of the song started playing, Tendou began to sing.

_"Love me like I'm sick l-love me like I'm sick, honey  
I can keep the demons down for a bit  
Yeah, you never wanna' die? I never wanna live  
So, love me like I'm sick l-love me like I'm sick  
You should know by now that I am over it"_

"Did he just call me honey?" Ushijima asked Semi, who was holding in a burst of laughter and  
snorted. "That's the only thing coming to your mind?" He shrugged his shoulders, still staring at  
Tendou. "What does 'I never wanna live' mean…? Does he still think about…" Semi kicked his leg and  
shook his head. "Just keep listening."

_"Get up and get my heart from the drawer before  
I burn up, yeah, I burn up on your bedroom floor  
If I could I would I'd end this war  
But my head is a port, and your love is a storm  
I hear that you ain't a fan of my soul  
Send my regards to the wishing well"_

Tendou closed his eyes while he sang the lyrics. He put his whole heart into the song, and everybody  
could hear it. Everyone, not just Ushijima, was drawn to him. It was a special moment.

_"Love me like I'm sick l-love me like I'm Sick, honey  
I can keep the demons down for a bit  
Yeah, you never wanna' die? I never wanna live  
So, love me like I'm sick l-love me like I'm sick"_

He repeated the refrain with even more passion than in the beginning. His gaze wandered to  
Ushijima, and he started to smile while he sang. Hopefully, his message would get across to his  
boyfriend.

_"This river's getting rough  
and you're Screaming from the shore, 'I'll never give you up!'  
Well, I think I might have swum too close to New York this time  
Because I'm smitten for your promise land, where hearts do go but don't come back  
And heaven knows that fame is poison"_

Everybody had their eyes fixed on Tendou. They couldn't look away. His voice, this song, the  
atmosphere, everything was perfect. The light on the stage turned from red to white in the beat, and  
a faint fog was coming out of a machine next to the stage.

_"Love me like I'm sick l-love me like I'm Sick, honey  
I can keep the demons down for a bit  
Yeah, you never wanna' die? I never wanna live  
So, love me like I'm sick l-love me like I'm sick  
You should know by now that I am over it  
Know by now that I am over it."_

Ushijima's eyes were wide open as he stared at his boyfriend on the stage. After all those years, they  
experienced many things together, but he never saw him singing on a stage like that, with so much  
passion. His heartbeat seemed to beat in the rhythm of the song, and he started to smile. He loved  
him so much, he couldn't even put it into words. Tendou simply looked like the most beautiful  
human being he had ever seen.

_"Glide away with me into the night for one more story  
No one's killing me tonight  
Where'd you run away?  
I'll never cry or say I'm sorry"_

With teary eyes, Tendou once again looked at Ushijima and held his arm out in his direction, as if he  
wanted to make him understand that the next line would be essential.

_"No one's killing me tonight tonight tonight.."_

He smiled brightly while singing this line. Semi sighed. "You're really lucky, you know that?" Ushijima  
nodded with a smile. "Yeah, I really am."

_"Love me like I'm sick l-love me like I'm Sick, Honey  
I can keep the demons down for a bit  
Yeah, you never wanna' die? I never wanna live  
So, love me like I'm sick l-love me like I'm sick"_

The song reached its climax and would be over soon. Once again, Tendou reached out his arm for  
Ushijima to make him understand that the next line is essential once again. He hoped that his  
boyfriend would realize how happy he was that he had been rescued that night. And not just that night. All  
the other times after that as well. He's glad to be alive.

He ended the song with a mere whisper, still clear enough to be understood by the audience.

_"You should know by now that I am over it"_

The song finished, and for a few minutes, the whole room went silent. Tendou breathed heavily since  
singing like that was exhausting, but he smiled. He had never felt so alive as at this moment, and it  
made him happy that he could experience it with his beloved volleyball team and his friends, most  
notably his boyfriend.

The silence was broken by a cheering crowd. Tendou bowed down, laughing, and left the stage. To  
his surprise, Ushijima already stood there and pulled him in a tight hug.

"Did you understand now, Toshi?"

"Aren't you going to call me 'honey'?"

"You're missing the point again…"

They both laughed and kissed each other.

"Yeah, I think I understood. I'm sorry for having doubted you. I love you, Satori."

"No worries, honey," he joked teasingly, "I love you, too."

Tendou was really happy now. He might never get completely rid of his demons, but he would learn  
to live with them step by step. As long as he had Ushijima by his side, he could survive anything.


End file.
